What I Learned from My Mom

I used to go to church every Sunday with my mother. My father was either on call, or often just worn out on Sunday mornings (he was a family doctor and on call every other night, made house calls,etc.). At a certain point, my sister got to where she didn’t want to go to church. But, I really loved going to Sunday worship with my Mom. My sister was two years older, and I got to a point in high school when I wasn’t as interested either. But, I remember those days in late elementary, middle school, when I went with my Mom and just liked every bit of it. There was a real joy about it.

I can say one thing clearly. My Mom went for two reasons and two reasons only: to praise God, and to love people. And, the love of people clearly came out of the love of God. I found out over the years that was exactly why my Mom went to church. And, when it got to a point where church presented a hindrance to praising God and loving people – well, my Mom just didn’t go to church, but praised God and loved people outside of church. But, even in times when my Mom didn't "go to church," church went with my Mom.

I’ve never lost what I learned from my Mom. It is at the center of who I am. And, when I remember who I am, I carry on this praise and love both inside and outside the church. The important thing is not the inside or outside, but the praise and love. But, somehow, I'm not sure I would have understood that unless I had experienced it inside the church. Those times of going to worship, worshipping and coming home from worship. Those were good times, sacred times for me - and, I think they were for my Mom too.

Talking Out Loud to My Self

There are three things I would like to be rid of: A spirit of criticism, a spirit of self-importance, and a spirit of anxiety.

By a spirit of criticism, I mean the thoughts that rise up within me that are in the first instance critical of another, before I really assess the situation and what is going on. Besides, why does it matter whether I approve or disapprove of another?

By a spirit of self-importance, I really mean a way of looking at life that always considers at the center how something reflects on me, makes me look, affects me, and that assumes I have more control over a situation than I do.

By a spirit of anxiety, I mean that unnerving feeling and set of thoughts that keep me from being at peace inside. I guess it's really this spirit of anxiety that gives rise to the spirit of criticism and self-importance. And, it seems like some freedom from that spirit of criticism and self-focus could really lead to some freedom from anxiety.

Along these lines, I was wondering today about the fact that I always feel a certain pressure in about every situation to make sure everyone gets along with everybody else. Who put me in charge of that? That seems to arise out of a spirit of anxiety, a spirit of criticism and a spirit of self-importance. Of course, it is good to hope for peace among people, but can you really achieve it if you are always anxious about it? Can you really enable it if you don't trust it depends on something greater than you?

I've lived for more than 48 years, and this is the first time I have ever asked: "who put me in charge of that?" Now, it may take me the rest of my life to answer that question or I may have just answered it by asking it!

Holy Words from Christoph Blumhardt

The following comes from a sermon preached by Christoph Blumhardt on June 29, 1897 in Germany. The scripture was Matthew 16:13-19, and the sermon title was "The Church of Jesus Christ."*

“How then does this church come into being? Those who have seen Jesus must really stop letting themselves get distracted from the revelation of the Father. . .

“Can God reveal himself in you, my friend? I will tell you when He can do it. It is when you are bent completely, fully, on God as love. Here the roads part. Believe me, I have rarely met a person who wanted this love of God. Does that surprise you? They all want to love, but they want to choose the people they love. They are cool toward or will even persecute with their hatred all those who do not suit them. Naturally everyone wants to love according to his sympathies. Everyone loves his family, her friends, his hobbies. However, it is quite a different matter to want God’s love fully and completely. There is a love that rules in the name of godless humanity; it is the most dangerous thing in the world! The love of the members of one party judges people belonging to the other parties. The love of the members of one church loves only these and condemns all others. The love that is in the world tears God’s love to pieces because it judges.

“Yet there is a love which denies itself, which esteems all people as equals, which respects creation and no longer judges. There is a love which saves, which does away with evil and fights against all evil in order that the evil person may be saved. There is a love which does not want to do away with anybody, so that nothing may be lost, because Jesus is here, because God is the Father of all people. Remember this. Whoever does not want this love, which is God’s love, will not recognize the living God, nor will he receive the revelation.”

*This sermon was printed in "Christoph Blumhardt and His Message," written in 1938 by R. Lejeune (Plough Publishing, reprint, 1963).

Has Trouble With Authority

Have you ever heard it said of a young person: "he or she really has trouble with authority?" Part of me always wants to say: "who doesn't?" I was one of those kids growing up who really had a negative attitude towards authority. Well, I should say towards about all authority except that of my parents and my minister. I was alright with their authority. There was just something about their authority that I felt was right and provided space and freedom in life.

But, teachers, coaches (even some very nice coaches), and adults who were all into their authority, or even my friends "strict" parents. Well, I really had a problem with that authority. Since I was a quiet kid, people rarely knew how I was.

And, yes, I guess I should say that I had a real respect for the ultimate authority over life: the Creator and Judge and Redeemer of the Universe.

Strange, for me, having faith in God meant a certain distrust of all human authority, and I have never been comfortable with any person in authority who didn't have a healthy suspicion of human authority. That first commandment: "you shall have no other gods before me!" To me, that felt like a great shout of freedom from all unjust human authority. It still feels that way!

People ask me how I can be a minister and defend people accused of crimes. It is easy and natural for me. I make a living as a criminal defense attorney by challenging authority, at times, flat out opposing authority, and keeping authorities in check. I have found a way to channel my "problem with authority" into a positive, socially acceptable profession.

Now, I didn't say that criminal defense work is without moral ambiguity. There are cases in which I would rather be the prosecutor. There are cases in which the interest in protecting the public from a dangerous person seem more important than checking authority. But, I am not in charge of the whole system, and I don't have to play all roles in our criminal justice system. So, I play one role and try to play it well. Being an advocate for human beings that are accused and in danger of being stigmatized and locked up like animals - well, that's a role I am very comfortable with. And, besides, if I hadn't found a positive way to channel my problem with authority, I would probably have been locked up a few times myself.

The Way of Christ Inside and Outside the Church

For the Church, this is Holy Week, the week leading up to Good Friday and Easter. The central and most important holy time of the year (the early church didn't even celebrate Christmas). And, during this week, as was my experience last year during Holy Week, I am wondering about life in the church. I am wondering in a terribly serious way whether our Christian religion makes us better, or, maybe worse than we would have been without it. I know, this type of worry may disappoint those who are Christian. But, though I feel that the real tradition of the Church is holy and good. I don't think there is much of the real tradition present in the churches of our day. Of course, I don't really know. I just know how it feels. And, often it feels like there is at least as much holiness outside as inside the Church. And, this doesn't really disappoint me. Why shouldn't we Christians be glad that there are good people, good ideas, good works outside of our religious communities? And, to say this doesn't somehow mean to say that the way of Jesus is not the way of truth. But, it is to say that the way of Jesus may be outside as well as inside the Church's fellowship.

A Strange Saying about "The Good News"

A saying came to me this morning that seemed strange, but true. It seems illogical but somehow makes good holy sense. It goes like this:

"Everybody deserves mercy . . .
whether they deserve it or not."

Turning the Good News into Bad News: Evangelism Revisited

But, this good news, we in the church have somehow converted into bad news. I guess it's because though God is full of mercy, we are not. Because the church has taken a message about the gracious action of God and made it a way to judge others. Why are we so invested in defining people as outsiders? I don't really know. Instead of being glad and sharing that gladness about God with others, the church has thought of itself as some kind of gatekeeper entitled to define the terms of admission to salvation and grace. Once that is done, the liberating message is lost. Once that is lost, I'd rather go fishing than go to church.

God chooses who receives grace and mercy and life, and God has chosen all people in Jesus Christ. See Romans 5. Now, whether some people will ultimately resist this gracious election in the end, that is an open question. God isn't a God of force. God won't drag people kicking and screaming into the kingdom (By the way, Jesus never utilized any evangelistic tricks to get people to follow him. No, he warned them it would be hard and that they might want to think twice before going with him).

God is not a God of force, but the God of the gracious invitation. God invites all to a kingdom of mercy. Something deep down tells me it will be like this:

The doors of the kingdom will be open, wide open, but everyone will come to the door and be asked a question: "Do you want to live in a world where every person is treated with dignity? Do you want to live in a world where God's mercy for all is the rule of life? Do you want to live in world where truth replaces falsehood? Do you want to live in a world where there are no rich or poor? Do you want to live in a world where there is no abuse of authority, and where freedom really rings in every corner? Do you want to live in a world where children are not abused, where women are not raped, where people don't die because there is no food, or because they can't afford health care?" And, each person will answer from that person's heart if that is what they have really desired in life. But, the point is this: what you really desired and lived for in this life will determine how you answer that question. You will not be able to give an answer that does not come from the depths of your heart. If you have lived and desired these things in life, then your heart will cry out: "YES!" If you have not, then your heart will answer: "NO, I don't really want those things. I would rather be more important than someone else. I really think living life without a superior status to others would be terrible. I really don't think everyone deserves mercy. I really would rather not be in a world where people are treated equally. Everybody gets what they deserve anyway!"

Jesus said it very plainly: "Blessed are the merciful for they shall obtain mercy." Maybe in the end everybody does get what they deserve.