If I could tell the truth, I could get across what I really want to say. But, you can’t really tell the truth except in a conversation that you have given yourself to. In a conversation like that, you discover it right at the point that you say it, or, right at the point that you say it together.
But there is also something very important about writing down the best you can what you want to say, and giving that to another person – giving it in trust.
There are a number of reasons why we don’t tell the whole truth to each other, and several of them are good reasons. Like one of my friends said once: “I know my Dad will care so much that I just don’t want to tell him how bad things are right now.” Sometimes you are bearing it, and you know that someone else will bear it with you if you tell them, and you just don’t want to do that right now. But, this can be a piece of self-deception as well. Usually when you love someone, it is way easier to bear their trouble with them that you know about than watch them suffer incommunicado. And, when you really love someone, you usually have a pretty good sense or at least unconscious uneasiness about their suffering.
And, in the few times, when I have just put things out there for others, or when they have put things on the table to me, both sides usually do a lot better than expected. The fears we have are generally proven overstated – at least when it comes to fears about others we love knowing the truth. But, sometimes fears are justified; usually not.
Just a few things I was thinking as I try to learn how to speak truly on this blog while knowing this is not a private conversation.