Someone to Cuss With

As this Saturday passes by, I have a few frustrations in life that I'd like to discuss freely with someone who can go to that angry place within me and that faithful place within me and cuss a little with me (or, a lot) and then laugh some with me and come back out on the other side. I have a couple of people like that and they have me, but they are not around right now to talk with. And, that's one thing I really don't like about church. There's hardly ever anybody you can cuss with. And, if they hear you cuss, they take it way too seriously. I can just hear some church person saying: "well, you shouldn't be cussing anyway!" I respond: "the hell I shouldn't!" Well, and I'd like to cuss a little more right now, but someone may finally read one of my blogs!

My Dad who died over three years ago was just the best person to cuss with in the world. We would talk and discuss and cuss our way to understanding and a holy place. And, I know that maybe that doesn't make sense to many people. But, you would to have to have known my father, who just had a way of holy earthiness, or earthy holiness, that was overwhelming. Being with him was the perfect antidote to the bullshit of social life, and, to be honest, the bullshit of church life.

I guess what my Dad and I really had is that we just knew that when we got together something good would happen. When we started talking, we would find our way to a good place. We trusted each other. We trust each other. We really trusted each other. I realize that I used the present tense a sentence ago. I am not going to edit that. It just came out that way because that's the way it is.

Warnings, Regret and the Passover

It seems that warnings are a part of the fabric of our lives. Very few crises come on us without warnings. Most persons charged with DUI have driven drunk many times before it all comes to a harsh awakening with the blue lights. Most husbands or wives have 100 signs that all is not well before an adulterous affair is revealed. And, most parents have numerous warnings - obvious to an outsider - that their child is having trouble, even desperately in trouble, before a horrible situation or act of self-destruction occurs. But, we are simply blinded to the obvious, because we are so invested in needing that feeling that all is well with those persons we are bound to heart and soul. And, we are so convincing even regarding ourselves that all is well, when it is not. I was thinking about all these things when I read Exodus yesterday. All those Egyptian families who were bothered by the cruel treatment of the Hebrew slaves. All those Egyptian families that had experienced the first nine warnings (plagues). They even felt such sympathy for the Hebrews that they began giving them their jewelry to fund their escape. But, they stuck with Pharoah, for he was their ruler and protector. And, in the end, they just couldn't take the warnings to heart - until that midnight when they awakened to the death cry of their firstborn. We human beings almost always figure out what the truth is - and almost always find it out after it is too late to do anything about it.

Thoughts on Salvation and Judgment

Today I've been thinking about salvation. What is salvation, or, better, what does that mean to me, to others when we say it? I was also thinking about judgement. I feel very calm and confident in my heart that there will be a day of judgment in which the Creator and Ruler of all will speak a word of truth about our lives. Only God knows that truth.

I was also thinking that I didn't feel that I would be deserving of either a great punishment or a great reward for my life. Sometimes I feel God is going to say about me: "You didn't do great, but you didn't do that badly either. I am pleased that you had the chance to live on the earth. Go, take your rest in the earth." Now, for those who didn't have anything to eat, no chance at joy, and meaning in life, who still endured it all. Well, for them, I hear: "Come into my kingdom, my good and faithful servants who lived so long in misery. Enter into my joy."

That's what I am thinking about the truth of my life, but as I said, "only God knows that truth."