It is Friday evening, and I am very glad to be at home. The weather is very good outside, the view of the mountains is really great, and I don't have any responsibilities to tend to right now.
I am tired. I am not sure why I felt so tired this afternoon as court ended for the week. But, something about the back and forth of cases, the back and forth with judges, and even the back and forth with clients had me worn out. By the "back and forth" I guess I am trying to talk about the emotional tension involved in trying to do my job as a criminal defense lawyer in the criminal justice system.
Working as a lawyer with the Public Defender's Office is not the easiest job - not just because we have a lot of clients to represent, but also because it is a job which is morally ambiguous. We do our work as those who represent the poor who are charged with crimes because we believe that the poor are entitled to a real defense when charged with a crime. We take pride in our public defender's office knowing that we provide better representation for poor people than most private attorneys in our county provide to clients who can afford to pay for legal services. But, we don't get to choose our clients.
And, clearly when you are representing a lot of people charged with crimes, it happens at times that you are working hard and offering your legal skill and knowledge to help someone who is hurting others. Of course, there are many cases in which the question of guilt is not clear or in other cases, an innocent person has been charged, arrested and put on trial when they did nothing criminal at all. But, there are a good number of cases where the charge is valid, where a person has stolen or broken into a house, or harmed another person in some way. Of course, there are many crimes where the person might be guilty, but there is no real victim (possession of illegal drugs or possession of legal drugs without prescription).
As a criminal defense attorney, it is your job to zealously represent your client's interest, which means "try to beat the case if you can within the bounds of the ethical rules, whether it is a good case or not." Of course, if your client says: "I just want to plead guilty, and don't want to fight the case even if it might result in an acquittal," that is their choice. But, most defendants, when threatened with jail time, etc., want to try to beat it if their chances are pretty good, and the risk of trial is not too great.
And, having practiced criminal law now for almost 17 years, I can tell you that the breaks often come to the least deserving, and the hardest results often come to those who really deserve a break. If you want to try and convince me that everything that happens in criminal cases is "God's will" you are going to have a very hard time, unless you can first drug me so that I lose my mind. I have been there; I have been in the middle of it; I have seen horrible injustices, but, then again, some good and just results as well.
But, one thing that makes my morally ambiguous job easier is that often the crimes charged are crimes that people shouldn't be punished for - or, at least shouldn't be punished so harshly as the law requires. So, that makes it very easy to do everything possible to "beat the case." I can't believe any society in the world would decide to lock up people who are 20 years old for drinking beer, or for smoking marijuana. Personally, I really detest marijuana because of experiences I have had living with people that smoked it all the time in college. But, objectively, I have seen people do a lot more harm while drinking too much and I have never seen anyone taken to the hospital for marijuana overdose whereas I have for alcohol poisoning. Still, why are we locking people up for getting a buzz? That is crazy to me.
Why don't we save our jails for people who are going around robbing people or raping people or breaking into houses, etc.? Why do we want to put people in jail for decades for selling some substance to another person who wants it? I understand that drug abuse is a big problem, but so long as millions of people are out there who want to use a drug, some poor people are going to be willing to sell it to them while working for some rich people who make money off of this selling and don't have to face the risk of apprehension and jail.
But, then there are cases in which I really sympathize with the victim or victim's family: murders, sex offenses, robberies, burglaries, felony thefts, identity theft.
There are cases in which I would like to be the prosecutor, because I feel like I would know how to prosecute the case and get the defendant who is dangerous in jail for a long time. But, I am not a prosecutor, but a defense attorney. I have a personal preference for defending other people, not prosecuting and punishing them. But, over the years, I have had a few days when I have really wished the attorney on the other side would do a better job prosecuting. There are cases that the defense should win, and cases that the prosecution should win (of course, the overwhelming majority of cases are worked out by negotiation and agreement in which prosecution and defense compromise). And, the very large majority of those agreements involve a plea of guilty and some type of sentence for the defendant. There is a sense in which most people charged with crimes get a chance or two before "the hammer really comes down on them." But, this is not always the case.
It would leave my soul at peace if the State would win when it is truly just, and the defense would win when it is really just and that negotiated agreements would be truly just. And, when it is really just, for me, does not always mean when the State has charged a defendant who is guilty is found guilty, nor does it mean simply that a defendant who is innocent is found not guilty (though it surely includes that). No, justice means when the result in the end is the will of God. And, God is not bound by human laws and systems of justice.
I do remember that God is merciful, and the God "who raises the dead." Sometimes human beings get another chance in life, a second chance. I like to see people get second and even third chances in life, just as I like to get second chances in areas of life where I have failed. I know there are cases where it seems to risky for the rest of society to let some individuals have a second or third chance at freedom. But, I have to trust that the rest of society will look after that. I am one who advocates for people having second and third chances in life, whether they seem to deserve it or not. There are surely enough straight-laced moral people in society who will be against that to keep the few of us who continue to advocate for those who are considered unworthy of being part of society in check.
Before I start a big trial, I pray: "O God, let your justice be done. Not the justice of human beings, but let your justice be done." I never know for sure what that might be. I try to do my job the best I can, abiding by the ethical rules, to "beat the case," and hope that something truly good and right is accomplished as the prosecutor tries to do her job the best she knows how and the judge and jury try to do theirs. And, as a system, we fail often, but not always.
It is easy to criticize the criminal justice system. We could do better. But, there is always going to be a lot of arbitrariness in it beginning with selecting whom to charge with crimes, to how seriously to prosecute those charged with crimes, to the zealousness and ability of attorneys who defend those charged, to the particular way a situation appears to a judge or jury who decides the fate of the one charged at trial and sentencing.
A good number of us who work in the criminal justice system (judges, lawyers, police officers) still really appreciate our Constitution that provides that no one can be deprived of life or liberty without due process of law, that anyone charged with a crime has the right to a jury trial, that a man or woman has the right to remain silent in the face of the demands of government to answer questions, and that anyone charged with a crime is entitled to have an attorney represent them - whether they can afford it or not. Our country's Constitution has built into it a strong suspicion of governmental authority. When government wants to charge someone with a crime and lock them away, we say: "you've got to prove he or she is guilty beyond a reasonable doubt - otherwise, they walk."
A real respect is shown to individuals through these constitutional rights and their implementation in our criminal justice system. It is a system where many mistakes are made, where there are certainly some corrupting influences, but perhaps more than any other system in our society, it reminds us of the importance of each individual person in our society. Because when we treat the most despised person in society with respect and fairness, it secures our commitment to treat all people with respect and fairness. Maybe the core values of our criminal justice system are really not that morally ambiguous at all.
Friday, May 6, 2011
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
Authority
I am grateful for a certain distrust of human authority that was passed on to me with a deep and sure confidence in Divine authority.
If you look at the Ten Commandments, there is the Great Authority, God, above all. And, then there is at the human level only one authority established: parents.
That's about enough authority for me. Every other form of authority is simply necessary as a practical and organizational matter, but not essential to life.
I just don't buy that it is to be assumed that there is Divine legitimacy to political authorities and authorities in society. I know this emphasis about all authority being established by God is included in Scripture - most particularly in Romans 13 - but so much of Scripture is critical and even undermines this teaching about "rulers of this world." Even Paul's own teaching in 1 Corinthians, chapter 1 seems all about challenging every human authority in light of God's revelation in Jesus' death. Also, consider the Bible's view of the authority of Pharoah in Egypt, or of King Ahab in Israel, or the Roman authority at the time of Revelation to John. And, consider how Paul dealt with Roman and Jewish authorities and ended up in prison again and again for it. So, I have to interpret what Paul wrote in Romans 13 about respecting authority in context of what he wrote in other letters, what he did, and what is written in other parts of Scripture. As I interpret passages like this, I also seek understanding from the experience I have in life of God's guidance and truth in dealing with authorities.
Authority and authorities play an important role in human life. The real trick I guess is to figure out how any particular authority is in relation to the Great Authority to determine if that authority has a measure of legitimacy. It is also important to realize that each one of us has to exercise authority in our lives whether we recognize it or not. I might say that all authority is to be suspected, but then what about my "parental authority" or "pastoral authority" or the authority I have over certain matters in the legal system. Yes, we all have a sphere in which we exercise authority. And, yes, it is good to be a little suspicious of all authority, even our own. Because there is only One who has authority that is beyond question.
If you look at the Ten Commandments, there is the Great Authority, God, above all. And, then there is at the human level only one authority established: parents.
That's about enough authority for me. Every other form of authority is simply necessary as a practical and organizational matter, but not essential to life.
I just don't buy that it is to be assumed that there is Divine legitimacy to political authorities and authorities in society. I know this emphasis about all authority being established by God is included in Scripture - most particularly in Romans 13 - but so much of Scripture is critical and even undermines this teaching about "rulers of this world." Even Paul's own teaching in 1 Corinthians, chapter 1 seems all about challenging every human authority in light of God's revelation in Jesus' death. Also, consider the Bible's view of the authority of Pharoah in Egypt, or of King Ahab in Israel, or the Roman authority at the time of Revelation to John. And, consider how Paul dealt with Roman and Jewish authorities and ended up in prison again and again for it. So, I have to interpret what Paul wrote in Romans 13 about respecting authority in context of what he wrote in other letters, what he did, and what is written in other parts of Scripture. As I interpret passages like this, I also seek understanding from the experience I have in life of God's guidance and truth in dealing with authorities.
Authority and authorities play an important role in human life. The real trick I guess is to figure out how any particular authority is in relation to the Great Authority to determine if that authority has a measure of legitimacy. It is also important to realize that each one of us has to exercise authority in our lives whether we recognize it or not. I might say that all authority is to be suspected, but then what about my "parental authority" or "pastoral authority" or the authority I have over certain matters in the legal system. Yes, we all have a sphere in which we exercise authority. And, yes, it is good to be a little suspicious of all authority, even our own. Because there is only One who has authority that is beyond question.
Sunday, May 1, 2011
Being Part of a Church
I have been the pastor of a church since late June of 1989. I have been with my current congregation since the first Sunday of September, 1995.
A lot of weeks have come and gone, with Sunday acting as a center of gravity for so many weeks over the past 22 years.
For better or worse, I have been shaped into who I am by being part of a church, especially this church I have been with for almost 16 years. I have been preaching sermons for many of these people for all these years, and leading Bible studies, and talking with people about their sicknesses and their children and legal issues. I have been in hospitals, and funeral homes and at grave sides. We have worked on stopping leaks through sanctuary ceilings, assuring people in sorrow and trouble that we cared for them and still valued them. We have discussed our children and parents. This group of people walked with me and held me close when my father was very sick and when he died.
I have made it through the changes of life over the past couple of decades much better than I would have without my church: First United Presbyterian Church and now Fourth United Presbyterian Church.
It can really mean something to be a part of a group of people that gathers together to read the Bible, try to make sense of it, and comes together to worship God in the best way they know how. And, a group of people that has an unspoken but deep determination to never give up on each other.
As we have turned to God over the years together the best we have known how, I have come to the conclusion that this determination that manifests itself in small acts of kindness and understanding and trust is really an experience of the grace of God.
A lot of weeks have come and gone, with Sunday acting as a center of gravity for so many weeks over the past 22 years.
For better or worse, I have been shaped into who I am by being part of a church, especially this church I have been with for almost 16 years. I have been preaching sermons for many of these people for all these years, and leading Bible studies, and talking with people about their sicknesses and their children and legal issues. I have been in hospitals, and funeral homes and at grave sides. We have worked on stopping leaks through sanctuary ceilings, assuring people in sorrow and trouble that we cared for them and still valued them. We have discussed our children and parents. This group of people walked with me and held me close when my father was very sick and when he died.
I have made it through the changes of life over the past couple of decades much better than I would have without my church: First United Presbyterian Church and now Fourth United Presbyterian Church.
It can really mean something to be a part of a group of people that gathers together to read the Bible, try to make sense of it, and comes together to worship God in the best way they know how. And, a group of people that has an unspoken but deep determination to never give up on each other.
As we have turned to God over the years together the best we have known how, I have come to the conclusion that this determination that manifests itself in small acts of kindness and understanding and trust is really an experience of the grace of God.
Monday, April 25, 2011
Deuteronomy
Deuteronomy, the fifth book of the Christian and Hebrew Bibles, begins with these words:
"These are the words Moses spoke to all Israel" in the fortieth year since the exodus from Egypt, and as Israel encamped in Arabah (in the desert country of Moab east of the Jordan river).
Since the setting is Israel is on the verge of entering into the Promised Land, and since the setting is Moses' 120th year, this serves as the Last Will and Testament of Moses bequething to Israel the understanding God has given him.
This book of Deuteronomy reminds the Israelites what they have been through and who they are. And, they are to remind each other and teach these holy things to the next generation. Who they are is based on God's history with them. God has brought them out of slavery in Egypt and guided them through the wilderness.
"Only be careful, and watch yourselves closely so that you do not forget the things your eyes have seen or let them slip from your heart as long as you live. Teach them to your children and to their children after them." Deut. 4:9
As Moses approaches his day of death, he tries to give to his people all the understanding he has of God. This is the only thing he can think of that will really give them the strength and purpose they need to make it on this earth.
"These are the words Moses spoke to all Israel" in the fortieth year since the exodus from Egypt, and as Israel encamped in Arabah (in the desert country of Moab east of the Jordan river).
Since the setting is Israel is on the verge of entering into the Promised Land, and since the setting is Moses' 120th year, this serves as the Last Will and Testament of Moses bequething to Israel the understanding God has given him.
This book of Deuteronomy reminds the Israelites what they have been through and who they are. And, they are to remind each other and teach these holy things to the next generation. Who they are is based on God's history with them. God has brought them out of slavery in Egypt and guided them through the wilderness.
"Only be careful, and watch yourselves closely so that you do not forget the things your eyes have seen or let them slip from your heart as long as you live. Teach them to your children and to their children after them." Deut. 4:9
As Moses approaches his day of death, he tries to give to his people all the understanding he has of God. This is the only thing he can think of that will really give them the strength and purpose they need to make it on this earth.
Thinking About This Easter, the Disciples and Nothing Will Ever Be the Same
'Nothing will ever be the same' is what I kept thinking as I prepared to preach this Easter. That's what I imagined that the first followers of Jesus must have thought within themselves as they watched him taken away to be crucified, and as they grieved his death those first two days.
And, truly nothing was ever the same. But, in a way very different than they had thought. 'Nothing will ever be the same' when first said by them surely had a deep tragic character, and then on that third day after Jesus was killed, reports started circulating that he had risen from the dead.
It all began with the report of the empty tomb. The first report was made by the two Marys who had been followers of Jesus. They were the first to experience the news that Jesus was not dead, but had been raised from the dead.
The sad saying 'nothing will ever be the same' was transformed to a joyous world-shaking celebration among the early believers.
After the crucifixion, they were starting over in a world bereft of hope and light. After the resurrection, they were starting over in a new world, a world that had at its center new life. New life in the midst of an old world, a new world within an old world.
Christmas is traditional, seems to evoke strong memories. Easter is beyond progressive - it is a sense of radical newness. Christmas brings reorientation; Easter brings a blessed disorientation.
As I sit here on the day after Easter, I realize that something has happened to me this Lenten season and Easter. It was an up and down season. But, somehow Easter has broken down the old ways of thinking, and opened up something new. Right now, I feel a little disoriented in a good sort of way. For some reason it seems I have the chance to look at things in a new way, seek new understanding, and escape from old patterns into new more promising ways of living in God's Spirit.
What I am feeling is something that has been growing within me for some time. I am feeling the loss of self-importance even as I struggle with the last gasp efforts of it. More and more those ways of being and thinking and feeling that are centered in self seem just plain worn-out.
Through our growing up, it is natural to reflect a lot about one's identity and to experience a sense of self in an intense way. I think that is a normal and important process. But, as we move into middle age, we start forgetting ourselves more and more, and not taking ourselves too seriously. Our visions of grandeur fade into more realistic views of what we are good at and what we are not. Our hopes in life become more tied to seeing others - especially the young - make it through; we start to realize we have had a pretty good run already.
It is disorienting in a way to begin feeling a sense of self start becoming less and less important. But, it is reorienting in another way that seems to relieve some burdens and open to a more holy, less self-important way of living.
The key experiences recently that have shown me this development are times when the old, self-important way exerts itself and causes some disruption, anger, etc., I really abhor those experiences now, whereas it used to be a regular part of life for me. And, somehow Easter this year really brought that to me in a new way. It wasn't an easy Lenten Season. Becoming dissatisfied with ways of being and thinking that have carried you for so long is not easy. It leaves a vaccuum of meaning until you begin to learn to walk in new ways. But, a certain amount of emptiness is good when that emptiness feels like faith and trust in God.
And, truly nothing was ever the same. But, in a way very different than they had thought. 'Nothing will ever be the same' when first said by them surely had a deep tragic character, and then on that third day after Jesus was killed, reports started circulating that he had risen from the dead.
It all began with the report of the empty tomb. The first report was made by the two Marys who had been followers of Jesus. They were the first to experience the news that Jesus was not dead, but had been raised from the dead.
The sad saying 'nothing will ever be the same' was transformed to a joyous world-shaking celebration among the early believers.
After the crucifixion, they were starting over in a world bereft of hope and light. After the resurrection, they were starting over in a new world, a world that had at its center new life. New life in the midst of an old world, a new world within an old world.
Christmas is traditional, seems to evoke strong memories. Easter is beyond progressive - it is a sense of radical newness. Christmas brings reorientation; Easter brings a blessed disorientation.
As I sit here on the day after Easter, I realize that something has happened to me this Lenten season and Easter. It was an up and down season. But, somehow Easter has broken down the old ways of thinking, and opened up something new. Right now, I feel a little disoriented in a good sort of way. For some reason it seems I have the chance to look at things in a new way, seek new understanding, and escape from old patterns into new more promising ways of living in God's Spirit.
What I am feeling is something that has been growing within me for some time. I am feeling the loss of self-importance even as I struggle with the last gasp efforts of it. More and more those ways of being and thinking and feeling that are centered in self seem just plain worn-out.
Through our growing up, it is natural to reflect a lot about one's identity and to experience a sense of self in an intense way. I think that is a normal and important process. But, as we move into middle age, we start forgetting ourselves more and more, and not taking ourselves too seriously. Our visions of grandeur fade into more realistic views of what we are good at and what we are not. Our hopes in life become more tied to seeing others - especially the young - make it through; we start to realize we have had a pretty good run already.
It is disorienting in a way to begin feeling a sense of self start becoming less and less important. But, it is reorienting in another way that seems to relieve some burdens and open to a more holy, less self-important way of living.
The key experiences recently that have shown me this development are times when the old, self-important way exerts itself and causes some disruption, anger, etc., I really abhor those experiences now, whereas it used to be a regular part of life for me. And, somehow Easter this year really brought that to me in a new way. It wasn't an easy Lenten Season. Becoming dissatisfied with ways of being and thinking that have carried you for so long is not easy. It leaves a vaccuum of meaning until you begin to learn to walk in new ways. But, a certain amount of emptiness is good when that emptiness feels like faith and trust in God.
Friday, April 22, 2011
Good Friday and Some Problems with Getting Older
It is Good Friday, 2011. Last night at our church we gathered to celebrate Christian Holy Week with a service focused on the solemn night on which Jesus ate the passover supper with his disciples and then was "betrayed into the hands of sinners." Our passage from Matthew speaks of Jesus being "sorrowful unto death" and "falling on his face, he began to pray saying, 'My Father, let this cup pass from me if it is possible, but not my will but thy will be done.'"
Our choir sang: "He Never Said a Mumbalin Word." It is a very beautiful and haunting spiritual. And, they sang it just right.
Before I went to worship, I had been in court most of the day. And, I had made a bad miscalculation on a case that was heard in the afternoon. I generally don't make these kind of mistakes in cases. But, as I get older, I seem to be getting less patient. Often in law, it serves you well to make a decision about the clearest path the victory and forget all other paths and issues. But, there are also a number of cases in which you do better to be patient and take what the hearing gives you. I usually can tell the one type of case from the other.
We don't always get wiser when we get older. I am starting to feel like most of us get better in some areas of life and worse in others so that we keep about the same balance between our good and bad characteristics that we had earlier in life. In some areas of life we really do learn some things, and in other areas of life unfortunately we forget the good things we knew when we were younger. Life takes some good things away from us and gives us some good things as well.
When life is really developing in a good way, the balance between the good and the bad begins to tip way over in favor of the good, way more than in the past in a permanent kind of way. When life is developing in a bad way, the balance between the good and the bad begins to tip way over in favor of the bad, way more than in the past in a permanent kind of way.
I am thinking very seriously about this as I think about my life on this Good Friday. There are some important things I have learned about living that I don't think I will ever forget. But, there were some very important things I carried within my heart in earlier life that seem like a hazy memory at this point. Life has a way of beating some of our youthful enthusiasm out of us. Life has a way of teaching us to be more cautious, less quick to trust and identify with others, less likely to take risks for others.
These are some things I am thinking about as I think about the One who risked everything for others.
Our choir sang: "He Never Said a Mumbalin Word." It is a very beautiful and haunting spiritual. And, they sang it just right.
Before I went to worship, I had been in court most of the day. And, I had made a bad miscalculation on a case that was heard in the afternoon. I generally don't make these kind of mistakes in cases. But, as I get older, I seem to be getting less patient. Often in law, it serves you well to make a decision about the clearest path the victory and forget all other paths and issues. But, there are also a number of cases in which you do better to be patient and take what the hearing gives you. I usually can tell the one type of case from the other.
We don't always get wiser when we get older. I am starting to feel like most of us get better in some areas of life and worse in others so that we keep about the same balance between our good and bad characteristics that we had earlier in life. In some areas of life we really do learn some things, and in other areas of life unfortunately we forget the good things we knew when we were younger. Life takes some good things away from us and gives us some good things as well.
When life is really developing in a good way, the balance between the good and the bad begins to tip way over in favor of the good, way more than in the past in a permanent kind of way. When life is developing in a bad way, the balance between the good and the bad begins to tip way over in favor of the bad, way more than in the past in a permanent kind of way.
I am thinking very seriously about this as I think about my life on this Good Friday. There are some important things I have learned about living that I don't think I will ever forget. But, there were some very important things I carried within my heart in earlier life that seem like a hazy memory at this point. Life has a way of beating some of our youthful enthusiasm out of us. Life has a way of teaching us to be more cautious, less quick to trust and identify with others, less likely to take risks for others.
These are some things I am thinking about as I think about the One who risked everything for others.
Saturday, April 16, 2011
The Sermon Before the Sermon
The sermon before the sermon is the thinking process I go through to getting to the point of preparing a sermon. What passage should I look to? This Sunday, I will look to the passage about Jesus' entry into Jerusalem for the Passover Festival, Jesus' last entry into Jerusalem before he is executed by hanging on a cross.
But, I am not reading and interpreting the passage about his triumphal entry with palms waving and people singing. Because that was really a sideshow. The real heart of this movement of the Gospel story is the internal experience of Jesus which is revealed when he says: "Jerusalem, Jerusalem, how often would I have gathered you like a hen gathers its chicks under its wings, but you would not . . . " This is a tragic march into the holy city, not a triumphal entry. The singing and shouting and praising as he comes riding on a donkey - these are a mockery of what is really going on. They are illusion which must make this entry even harder for Jesus.
No, I won't be preaching about the palm waving part, but about Jesus' own view of this last entry into Jerusalem,his sorrow for his fellow Jews of Jerusalem who have missed the time of God's coming in Jesus. God drew so near to them, in the flesh of the Messiah, but they would not receive the one sent to reconcile them to God and to each other. They had missed the time of God's coming. And, now Jesus was entering into the rejection of God by God's people. Jesus was experiencing that in his soul, but not simply from God's side - he was also feeling the tragedy of humanity's separation from God.
It was with a very heavy heart that Jesus came to Jerusalem to celebrate the Passover. The angel of death was drawing near, and unlike the Hebrews who were spared in the first Passover, Jesus would not be spared during this Passover. "He had prayed: 'let this cup pass from me if it is possible,' but it was not.
He was the passover lamb to be sacrificed. He would have to pass through the valley of the shadow of death and experience the burdens of that. And, he would do so in obedience to God and hoping that God would work redemption through this suffering.
The suffering itself seemed meaningless. Why would evil humans get the upper hand over God's Messiah? What good would it do to demonstrate the victory of evil over good before the eyes of those who had hoped in Jesus? But, it was becoming very clear to Jesus that this was the way of God. Perhaps it was not the way God would have liked, but due to human rebellion and sin, it was the way that Jesus had to go to accomplish God's will.
It is comforting to me that Jesus struggled with this way. It is reassuring to me that Jesus asked God to save him from this way of suffering and humiliation. Because it lets me know that this was not the affirmative will of God but the permissive will of God. It was God coming further into the midst and mess of humanity to save - not because God wants to suffer or have his son suffer - but because suffering was the only way to bring redemption to broken, twisted and rebellious humanity. It is only in being willing to bear all the burdens that God's love is demonstrated to human beings.
It is a shameful sight, and a shameful story to read about. If you read it and believe it, it causes a deep sense of shame as a human being. This was the reception we gave to the holiest one to have ever walked the earth. This was the reception we human beings gave to the Chosen of God.
But, it is also a moving sight, because Jesus is one of us, and somehow would not be separated from us, and would not deny us. He clung to his humanity and would not let go, even until the end. Jesus suffered like a human being, not a god. He cried out from the depths of his humanity: "God, why have you abandoned me!?" He would not renounce human beings, though we human beings renounced him. Jesus was true to the way of God, and the way of God was to cling closely to the human race even in experiencing the rejection of humans. For a time at the height of his suffering, Jesus seemed to have felt the rejection of God. And, God had to remain silent for a time. This was the greatest suffering of all. Those three days. Our God. Waiting three days to declare a verdict for Jesus. It was if the "jury was out" for three days. The creation had seen her king killed by evil human authorities. The creation waited for God to speak, but there was nothing. For three days, there was nothing. God was silent for three days. No one knows how long these three days were for the Divine. We do know something about how long they felt for Jesus' friends and family and followers who had expected him to bring in the kingdom of God. They were three days of empty pain and grief. But, what God went through, no one can dare to imagine.
O, Holy, Holy, Holy God. Light beyond all light. Love beyond all love. We do not try to imagine what we cannot imagine. We stop at this gate and tremble at your beauty, your humility and faithfulness to humanity. With all the unfaithfulness that we have returned to you! O, Lord, let your heart be blessed. Let your joy be renewed. Let your love be returned a thousand times over for ever and ever. Amen.
But, I am not reading and interpreting the passage about his triumphal entry with palms waving and people singing. Because that was really a sideshow. The real heart of this movement of the Gospel story is the internal experience of Jesus which is revealed when he says: "Jerusalem, Jerusalem, how often would I have gathered you like a hen gathers its chicks under its wings, but you would not . . . " This is a tragic march into the holy city, not a triumphal entry. The singing and shouting and praising as he comes riding on a donkey - these are a mockery of what is really going on. They are illusion which must make this entry even harder for Jesus.
No, I won't be preaching about the palm waving part, but about Jesus' own view of this last entry into Jerusalem,his sorrow for his fellow Jews of Jerusalem who have missed the time of God's coming in Jesus. God drew so near to them, in the flesh of the Messiah, but they would not receive the one sent to reconcile them to God and to each other. They had missed the time of God's coming. And, now Jesus was entering into the rejection of God by God's people. Jesus was experiencing that in his soul, but not simply from God's side - he was also feeling the tragedy of humanity's separation from God.
It was with a very heavy heart that Jesus came to Jerusalem to celebrate the Passover. The angel of death was drawing near, and unlike the Hebrews who were spared in the first Passover, Jesus would not be spared during this Passover. "He had prayed: 'let this cup pass from me if it is possible,' but it was not.
He was the passover lamb to be sacrificed. He would have to pass through the valley of the shadow of death and experience the burdens of that. And, he would do so in obedience to God and hoping that God would work redemption through this suffering.
The suffering itself seemed meaningless. Why would evil humans get the upper hand over God's Messiah? What good would it do to demonstrate the victory of evil over good before the eyes of those who had hoped in Jesus? But, it was becoming very clear to Jesus that this was the way of God. Perhaps it was not the way God would have liked, but due to human rebellion and sin, it was the way that Jesus had to go to accomplish God's will.
It is comforting to me that Jesus struggled with this way. It is reassuring to me that Jesus asked God to save him from this way of suffering and humiliation. Because it lets me know that this was not the affirmative will of God but the permissive will of God. It was God coming further into the midst and mess of humanity to save - not because God wants to suffer or have his son suffer - but because suffering was the only way to bring redemption to broken, twisted and rebellious humanity. It is only in being willing to bear all the burdens that God's love is demonstrated to human beings.
It is a shameful sight, and a shameful story to read about. If you read it and believe it, it causes a deep sense of shame as a human being. This was the reception we gave to the holiest one to have ever walked the earth. This was the reception we human beings gave to the Chosen of God.
But, it is also a moving sight, because Jesus is one of us, and somehow would not be separated from us, and would not deny us. He clung to his humanity and would not let go, even until the end. Jesus suffered like a human being, not a god. He cried out from the depths of his humanity: "God, why have you abandoned me!?" He would not renounce human beings, though we human beings renounced him. Jesus was true to the way of God, and the way of God was to cling closely to the human race even in experiencing the rejection of humans. For a time at the height of his suffering, Jesus seemed to have felt the rejection of God. And, God had to remain silent for a time. This was the greatest suffering of all. Those three days. Our God. Waiting three days to declare a verdict for Jesus. It was if the "jury was out" for three days. The creation had seen her king killed by evil human authorities. The creation waited for God to speak, but there was nothing. For three days, there was nothing. God was silent for three days. No one knows how long these three days were for the Divine. We do know something about how long they felt for Jesus' friends and family and followers who had expected him to bring in the kingdom of God. They were three days of empty pain and grief. But, what God went through, no one can dare to imagine.
O, Holy, Holy, Holy God. Light beyond all light. Love beyond all love. We do not try to imagine what we cannot imagine. We stop at this gate and tremble at your beauty, your humility and faithfulness to humanity. With all the unfaithfulness that we have returned to you! O, Lord, let your heart be blessed. Let your joy be renewed. Let your love be returned a thousand times over for ever and ever. Amen.
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