A Committee of Selves

My friend, Mack Garner, said to me one day: "Each of us really has a committee of selves: the self responsible to family, the self who wants to have fun, the self who needs glory, the self who is compassionate, the self who needs to produce something, the self who just wants everyone to leave it alone, etc." And, then he went on to say that as we live out our lives, one self shouts out the others, while some selves remain fairly passive and get run over. If a person has 8 or 10 selves, there are usually two or three that dominate, maybe even one. But, each self has its day, and its situation. That's why some people can surprise us so much. We have only known them in one context, and so only known one of their selves. Then, in another context, they completely surprise us, because one of their selves that we have never seen appears.

Of course, with a person who is somewhat whole, there is a strand that connects and orders the selves - i.e., a well-functioning commmittee. Which is another way of saying that the selves have a basic agreement on what is important and who is in charge of what. I guess this basic agreement or constitution is what makes us who we are.