The Will to Communicate

From time to time, I get frustrated and start feeling that it is not really worth trying to put my ideas into words and print, because what does it really lead to anyway? But, something in me continues to believe in the importance of communication and something inside rekindles my will to communicate with others.

And, I get the idea that many people just don't share that desire to really communicate with people about what is most important to the heart and mind. For me, it is part of my will to live. The desire to think, understand and communicate what I am thinking and understanding or not understanding - this is a desire that is really at the heart of life for me.

I guess that's why I keep getting back up to teach another Bible Study or preach another sermon or type another email to someone or post on this blog or have another open conversation with friend or someone from my family to share my confusion or clarity and to be able to see and hear their thoughts and feelings. There is a drive inside me to engage with others in the process of seeking understanding. Even when I get tired and feel like it's not worth writing and thinking and listening and talking, I still go right on thinking of why it is I feel that way. Pretty soon, I am back to writing and listening and reading and talking, trying to make sense of things again. It is like breathing for me. It is just something I do. I do it much better sometimes than others, but seeking to understand: others, social forces, myself, and the One above all beings is what keeps me going in life.

One of the old saints (I think it was Anselm) spoke of "faith seeking understanding" as being at the heart of theological work. And, I remember the words of the spiritual: "Sometimes I get discouraged, and feel my work's in vain. But, then the Holy Spirit revives my soul again . . . " Maybe that is a lot of what faith is, a perservering movement in the heart to seek understanding, even when misunderstanding and confusion are all that you can feel.