This question haunts history and often haunts our personal lives as well. "Can he, can she, can I really change?" It was this question, I believe, that haunted Nicodemas, and why the old respected teacher came by night to seek wisdom from the young, country prophet. And, this prophet, who was more than a prophet said to Nicodemas: "You must be born again . . . of the Spirit of God."
I like the language "born again." It conveys the radical starting over, giving up, and newness of life from God that comes among us and to us in Jesus.
But, we, like Nicodemas, think and feel: "But, how can a man really start over (or, as Nicodemas literally said: "Can a man go back into his mother's womb?")? Or, as Jackson Browne sings: "The future's there for anyone to change, still you know it seems, it would be easier sometimes to change the past."
"Can he ever change? Can she ever change? Can I change?"
In a British novel I was reading yesterday, one of the characters gives an opinion on this question saying: "No, but people can learn to manage themselves a bit better."
From the human side, maybe that is a pretty good answer. Maybe it is when we learn to manage ourselves a little bit better that the soil is prepared for change. Maybe that is all we can do. Learn to manage ourselves a little bit better and hope for the change that comes from beyond, the Spirit that blows where it wills, and nobody knows where it starts and where it ends. It takes faith to believe we can learn to manage ourselves better, and faith to believe that that prepares the ground for a transformation that we can't manage but only accept with thanksgiving and wonder.
*For the story of Nicodemas, see the Gospel of John in the New Testament of the Christian Bible, the first part of chapter 3.
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Holy Words from a Holy Man
"I never lost hope that this great transformation would occur. Not only because of the great heroes . . . , but because of the courage of the ordinary men and women of my country. I always knew that deep down in every human heart, there is mercy and generosity. No one is born hating another person because of the color of his skin, or his background, or his religion. People must learn to hate, and if they can learn to hate, they can be taught to love, for love comes more naturally to the human heart than its opposite. Even in the grimmest times in prison, when my comrads and I were pushed to our limits, I would see a glimmer of humanity in one of the guards, perhaps just for a second, but it was enough to reassure me and keep me going. Man's goodness is a flame that can be hidden but never extinguished."
- Nelson Mandela, Long Walk to Freedom : The Autobiography of Nelson Mandela (Little,Brown & Co., NY 1994), p.622
- Nelson Mandela, Long Walk to Freedom : The Autobiography of Nelson Mandela (Little,Brown & Co., NY 1994), p.622
Blog ending on July 23, 2010
I started this blog in March of 2009 to do some writing about some things that mattered to me. I have enjoyed writing, but am not too interested in continuing the blog at this point. Thanks to those of you who read and thought along with me about some of these things. I may try another blog sometime, but I am going to close this one down by the end of the week.
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
Remembering the Classroom in College
I am remembering how it was when I was a student at Wake Forest University during 1981-1982. Wake Forest was at that time closely affiliated with the Southern Baptist Conference, but already having some conflicts between academic freedom and Southern Baptist expectations of the school.
I didn't know much at all what was going on in the administration or between the school's administration and the Southern Baptist leaders. But, I can describe my experience of a campus where the classroom was regularly characterized by an "anti-religious," attitude which was deeply committed to a modern scientific philosophy of life. And, I can describe an environment among students where there was a typical mix of very religious, non-religious, and a smaller, but noticable group of anti-religious college students. I was definitely very religious, but always seemed to strike up friendships and acquaintenceships with students from the anti-religious group. I also didn't fit in the organized religious groups on campus though I had some very close friends who did.
But, with the exception of classes in the religion department, involving religion/theology in intellectual discussions was fairly taboo. There was a chilling atmosphere in interdisciplinary humanities classes and in some philosophy and other classes with regard to religion. The implication was that religious reflection had no real place in forming the intellectual outlook of an educated person. So, there I was in my humanities honors seminar when the professor led us in a discussion of the role of science in understanding human emotion and commitment. He was a chemist and a smart man. At one point in the discussion, it seemed to me that the professor and his sheep (my fellow students) had reached a consensus that science would ultimately solve all problems, predict and explain human love, and well, "bring in the kingdom." So, I spoke up and said that there was something deep within us all that could not be probed by the best science, something that was "of God." I added something from Kierkegaard who I was reading very much at that time. Well, the class almost "fell out!" No one said anything, but the professor came alive. He joined me in a debate that went on for the last 30 minutes or so of class. One or two students piped up, and they did seem sincerely interested and took the same side as the professor over against my theological way of viewing human life.
I remember that day, and I remember my professor who spoke to me after class. I can't remember exactly what he said, but it was very nice, and I returned something like that in his direction as well. There is something about speaking from your heart and from your real commmitments that makes life -well, come alive. My professor spoke from his heart and his deep dedication to a way of life centered on science, and I spoke from my heart and my deep dedication to a way of life centered on the experience of a mystery, the mystery of God. I learned something that day that I won't forget. When two people are speaking truth, they recognize and want to hear what the other has to say, even if it is not the truth they really understand.
I didn't know much at all what was going on in the administration or between the school's administration and the Southern Baptist leaders. But, I can describe my experience of a campus where the classroom was regularly characterized by an "anti-religious," attitude which was deeply committed to a modern scientific philosophy of life. And, I can describe an environment among students where there was a typical mix of very religious, non-religious, and a smaller, but noticable group of anti-religious college students. I was definitely very religious, but always seemed to strike up friendships and acquaintenceships with students from the anti-religious group. I also didn't fit in the organized religious groups on campus though I had some very close friends who did.
But, with the exception of classes in the religion department, involving religion/theology in intellectual discussions was fairly taboo. There was a chilling atmosphere in interdisciplinary humanities classes and in some philosophy and other classes with regard to religion. The implication was that religious reflection had no real place in forming the intellectual outlook of an educated person. So, there I was in my humanities honors seminar when the professor led us in a discussion of the role of science in understanding human emotion and commitment. He was a chemist and a smart man. At one point in the discussion, it seemed to me that the professor and his sheep (my fellow students) had reached a consensus that science would ultimately solve all problems, predict and explain human love, and well, "bring in the kingdom." So, I spoke up and said that there was something deep within us all that could not be probed by the best science, something that was "of God." I added something from Kierkegaard who I was reading very much at that time. Well, the class almost "fell out!" No one said anything, but the professor came alive. He joined me in a debate that went on for the last 30 minutes or so of class. One or two students piped up, and they did seem sincerely interested and took the same side as the professor over against my theological way of viewing human life.
I remember that day, and I remember my professor who spoke to me after class. I can't remember exactly what he said, but it was very nice, and I returned something like that in his direction as well. There is something about speaking from your heart and from your real commmitments that makes life -well, come alive. My professor spoke from his heart and his deep dedication to a way of life centered on science, and I spoke from my heart and my deep dedication to a way of life centered on the experience of a mystery, the mystery of God. I learned something that day that I won't forget. When two people are speaking truth, they recognize and want to hear what the other has to say, even if it is not the truth they really understand.
Thursday, July 8, 2010
Some Thoughts about Religion and Compulsion and a better way
I am beginning to feel more and more strongly that the sheer graciousness of the Gospel, the freedom from compulsion and control that is ours in Jesus, is what people hunger for so much as they labor under the burdens of this life. Jesus told the religious leaders of his day that they loaded burdens on the backs of men and women that they (the leaders) couldn't bear. And, Jesus contrasted his way of dealing with people by saying: "Come unto me, all you who are weary and heavy laden, and I will give you rest. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."
Religion has always been dominated by a compulsive spirit, a controlling spirit by means of guilt. Jesus' way is the opposite. I want nothing to do with force, judgement, compulsion. We could really learn something from the traditional Quaker way. I don't know if they live by it anymore. But, there is an insight and an experience in the old Quakers and the Quakers like Rufus Jones and Thomas Kelly of the 20th century. This insight has something to do with the fact that God is not a God of force and compulsion, and we human beings find it unimaginable that the greatest authority in all the world acts the opposite of how we envision authority and the opposite of how we tend to exercise it.
We really seem to miss the point of the cross. The conservative Protestant doctrine of strict substitutionary atonement which still dominates Protestant theology in this country, portrays God as your basic King who has to have satisfaction to appease his indignation at imperfection and sin in his subjects. Jesus and Paul portray God as the Father of the prodigal son, who is motivated by one overriding affection: love and the desire to heal and reconcile and reunite. The One who demands no satisfaction from his subjects, but only asks that his subjects stop and receive his loving embrace. And, this One will not drag us kicking and screaming into his kingdom. God is not a God of force. He continues to come to us, speak to us, but in the end, he will not force us to do anything. The law of the universe made by our gracious God is that you really can't force anyone to do anything in the end. God put within his creatures an image that cannot be violated. He will not violate that image by compelling anyone to do anything.
Parents who come to have genuine relationships with their children learn this over time. The only real authority you have in your children's lives is an authority that arises from the deepest trust and love between you and your child. Real authority is not based on fear or force or guilt or anything compulsive or controlling. It is like that because that is the way God has graciously and wisely structured his creation.
Some thoughts I am having as I think about what it would be like for a church to be a fellowship of true grace, where burdens are lightened and almost never increased.
Religion has always been dominated by a compulsive spirit, a controlling spirit by means of guilt. Jesus' way is the opposite. I want nothing to do with force, judgement, compulsion. We could really learn something from the traditional Quaker way. I don't know if they live by it anymore. But, there is an insight and an experience in the old Quakers and the Quakers like Rufus Jones and Thomas Kelly of the 20th century. This insight has something to do with the fact that God is not a God of force and compulsion, and we human beings find it unimaginable that the greatest authority in all the world acts the opposite of how we envision authority and the opposite of how we tend to exercise it.
We really seem to miss the point of the cross. The conservative Protestant doctrine of strict substitutionary atonement which still dominates Protestant theology in this country, portrays God as your basic King who has to have satisfaction to appease his indignation at imperfection and sin in his subjects. Jesus and Paul portray God as the Father of the prodigal son, who is motivated by one overriding affection: love and the desire to heal and reconcile and reunite. The One who demands no satisfaction from his subjects, but only asks that his subjects stop and receive his loving embrace. And, this One will not drag us kicking and screaming into his kingdom. God is not a God of force. He continues to come to us, speak to us, but in the end, he will not force us to do anything. The law of the universe made by our gracious God is that you really can't force anyone to do anything in the end. God put within his creatures an image that cannot be violated. He will not violate that image by compelling anyone to do anything.
Parents who come to have genuine relationships with their children learn this over time. The only real authority you have in your children's lives is an authority that arises from the deepest trust and love between you and your child. Real authority is not based on fear or force or guilt or anything compulsive or controlling. It is like that because that is the way God has graciously and wisely structured his creation.
Some thoughts I am having as I think about what it would be like for a church to be a fellowship of true grace, where burdens are lightened and almost never increased.
Thursday, July 1, 2010
Trying to Get Myself Out of the Center
In the important areas of life like: family relationships, vocation, friendships, ethical decision-making, religious experience and expression, I keep thinking more and more about the intrusion of “the ego” in these efforts to live well.
The need to be affirmed, to prevail, to be noticed, to “be a hero,” to be respected etc. plays a role in about everyone’s living. When these needs are too extreme, we don’t “live well.” Because, we are too much about meeting our needs when we deal with others and deal with tasks in life. For example, when I go to court as a lawyer, if I can’t keep my focus on my client’s interests, but get caught up in my interests and glory, I can talk a lot of good lawyer talk, make some impressive legal maneuvers, but not get my client what he or she is really seeking. Or, in dealing with a friend, I might be spending too much time trying to convince my friend to think well of me, instead of spending time thinking well and doing well for my friend. I guess what I am talking about is getting all caught up in trying to maintain a reputation or build one. And, getting all caught up in seeking victories and the approval of others, so as to feel like someone inside – this is like trying to walk somewhere by running on a treadmill. You just don’t get there! You stay in the same place though you are running so hard.
In our contemporary culture, there is an assumption that “self-esteem” is the key to a happy life. And, on one hand, this makes some real sense. If a person feels bad inside about herself, then it is difficult for that person to live a happy life. That negative self-reflection can color all parts of life darkly. On the other hand, the assumption that one can gain “self-esteem” by focusing on oneself and working on oneself is a particularly foolish assumption. It is really when we experience our self opening to others, becoming joined with others, being part of something greater than our self-concern, that we experience a sense of peace and purpose and vitality inside. Rudolf Bultmann, a Biblical Scholar/Theologian of the 20th century said that the experience of Christian faith was experiencing ‘freedom from self-concern.’
Although it is said that you can’t esteem and care for others unless you learn to esteem and care for yourself, it could be said that you can’t esteem and care for yourself unless you learn to esteem and care for others. Or, it might be said that you can’t esteem and care for yourself and others until you have experienced yourself being esteemed and cared for by another.
In Christianity and Judaism, the core experience is the experience of being esteemed and cared for by the Holy God and Creator of all life, and this experience is individual, communal, universal. That is, faith is the experience of being cared for and esteemed as an individual, but just as deeply as part of a religious community and part of the human race. What this means is that the experience that I am cared for and esteemed by the Holy One carries at its heart experiencing my neighbor as one who is cared for and esteemed by this same Holy God.
So, in this core experience of faith, we are opened to a Holy Presence, and we are opened to each other. We are set free from our self-imprisonment. Our selves become open to communion, to sharing of life, with our Creator,with our fellow creatures. This is how we come to an inner vitality, purpose and joy. We are freed from “self-concern” as we experience the concern of others and become genuinely concerned for them. In faith, we experience God’s concern for us. At some point, in faith, we even experience concern for God and selflessly want to do something for God. That is the deepest freedom. Then God’s will infuses our will, and we become who we were meant to be – those whose hearts are fully given to God and to our neighbors.
The need to be affirmed, to prevail, to be noticed, to “be a hero,” to be respected etc. plays a role in about everyone’s living. When these needs are too extreme, we don’t “live well.” Because, we are too much about meeting our needs when we deal with others and deal with tasks in life. For example, when I go to court as a lawyer, if I can’t keep my focus on my client’s interests, but get caught up in my interests and glory, I can talk a lot of good lawyer talk, make some impressive legal maneuvers, but not get my client what he or she is really seeking. Or, in dealing with a friend, I might be spending too much time trying to convince my friend to think well of me, instead of spending time thinking well and doing well for my friend. I guess what I am talking about is getting all caught up in trying to maintain a reputation or build one. And, getting all caught up in seeking victories and the approval of others, so as to feel like someone inside – this is like trying to walk somewhere by running on a treadmill. You just don’t get there! You stay in the same place though you are running so hard.
In our contemporary culture, there is an assumption that “self-esteem” is the key to a happy life. And, on one hand, this makes some real sense. If a person feels bad inside about herself, then it is difficult for that person to live a happy life. That negative self-reflection can color all parts of life darkly. On the other hand, the assumption that one can gain “self-esteem” by focusing on oneself and working on oneself is a particularly foolish assumption. It is really when we experience our self opening to others, becoming joined with others, being part of something greater than our self-concern, that we experience a sense of peace and purpose and vitality inside. Rudolf Bultmann, a Biblical Scholar/Theologian of the 20th century said that the experience of Christian faith was experiencing ‘freedom from self-concern.’
Although it is said that you can’t esteem and care for others unless you learn to esteem and care for yourself, it could be said that you can’t esteem and care for yourself unless you learn to esteem and care for others. Or, it might be said that you can’t esteem and care for yourself and others until you have experienced yourself being esteemed and cared for by another.
In Christianity and Judaism, the core experience is the experience of being esteemed and cared for by the Holy God and Creator of all life, and this experience is individual, communal, universal. That is, faith is the experience of being cared for and esteemed as an individual, but just as deeply as part of a religious community and part of the human race. What this means is that the experience that I am cared for and esteemed by the Holy One carries at its heart experiencing my neighbor as one who is cared for and esteemed by this same Holy God.
So, in this core experience of faith, we are opened to a Holy Presence, and we are opened to each other. We are set free from our self-imprisonment. Our selves become open to communion, to sharing of life, with our Creator,with our fellow creatures. This is how we come to an inner vitality, purpose and joy. We are freed from “self-concern” as we experience the concern of others and become genuinely concerned for them. In faith, we experience God’s concern for us. At some point, in faith, we even experience concern for God and selflessly want to do something for God. That is the deepest freedom. Then God’s will infuses our will, and we become who we were meant to be – those whose hearts are fully given to God and to our neighbors.
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Waiting, peace and feeling my way to something holy
Waiting is a strange thing. We wait to see how things go for those we love,whether we wait in hospital waiting rooms or in our homes or courtrooms. But, one thing we all have to do is wait.
But, we have to carry on in life while we are waiting to hear on this or that, and often on deeply important matters.
Some of us feel the burden of this waiting more than others. It seems that some people have a natural disposition that keeps them from worrying about things they can't control. That seems a very healthy and sane way to live.
I am not one of those people.
If I come to a point of waiting in a healthy and calm way, it is because of some spiritual influence that has transformed me inside. Simply put, I need some real serious help to wait well.
And, I experience this help, though I do have to struggle for it at times. And, I am glad for all those people who seem to come by it naturally. I don't begrudge them that peace of mind that seems part of their constitution. Of course, it is not my struggling that brings the peace, but when I cease struggling that it comes.
I have known these times of profound peace that have pierced my worried soul and left me calm in a presence so holy and so good that I can't describe it much beyond that.
Lately, I have been moved very deeply when alone by this overwhelming presence of God, who seems to me to be so absolutely beautiful and kind and wonderful that I am just stopped in wonder. It also hit me yesterday that God is the most simple of all beings and the most complex of all beings. God can commune with an amoeba; God can commune with the simplest person and be thoroughly and completely God. God can commune with the most complex of beings and be thoroughly God.
The one thing I am convinced that God is not: God is not cynical. Cynical beings cannot commune with the simple. They are too far above that. God is not.
But, we have to carry on in life while we are waiting to hear on this or that, and often on deeply important matters.
Some of us feel the burden of this waiting more than others. It seems that some people have a natural disposition that keeps them from worrying about things they can't control. That seems a very healthy and sane way to live.
I am not one of those people.
If I come to a point of waiting in a healthy and calm way, it is because of some spiritual influence that has transformed me inside. Simply put, I need some real serious help to wait well.
And, I experience this help, though I do have to struggle for it at times. And, I am glad for all those people who seem to come by it naturally. I don't begrudge them that peace of mind that seems part of their constitution. Of course, it is not my struggling that brings the peace, but when I cease struggling that it comes.
I have known these times of profound peace that have pierced my worried soul and left me calm in a presence so holy and so good that I can't describe it much beyond that.
Lately, I have been moved very deeply when alone by this overwhelming presence of God, who seems to me to be so absolutely beautiful and kind and wonderful that I am just stopped in wonder. It also hit me yesterday that God is the most simple of all beings and the most complex of all beings. God can commune with an amoeba; God can commune with the simplest person and be thoroughly and completely God. God can commune with the most complex of beings and be thoroughly God.
The one thing I am convinced that God is not: God is not cynical. Cynical beings cannot commune with the simple. They are too far above that. God is not.
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