We have had to readjust our schedules at the Public Defender's Office, because several of our lawyers are going to be on vacation this summer. But, though I am not going to be on vacation much, I am going to be on vacation for at least one day, and that is July 1, the day my dear daughter is to arrive home from South Africa. We watched her walk through the airport gate on January 17, and haven't gotten to see her since, except for a little on Skype. God knows how much my wife and I are looking forward to July 1. I am supposed to cover court on July 1, but I told them that they will just have to figure that day out, because I am going to be at McGhee Tyson Airport in Knoxville, TN on July 1 waiting for my daughter to get off that plane! Sue and I are going to want to go out onto the landing strip and wait, but I guess that might get us charged with a federal offense.
Everything to me is secondary to going to that airport on July 1. I have been so glad that Lisa has been able to live in such a wonderful and beautiful land as South Africa and meet so many people who have so much heart even amidst tough circumstances. But, my heart has felt partly empty these past five plus months with Lisa being so far away. But, I have learned something too. I have learned about distance and love; something that I have learned with my father's death. No force or power on this earth can separate you from those you really love in the depths of your heart! I think that's what Romans 8:38-39 is all about. Amen.
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Saturday, June 12, 2010
Being Thankful
A spirit of gratitude is with me as I start this day. It is Saturday morning, and I am thinking about so many things. I am remembering so many good things about my growing up and about my parents. I am proud of my Mom and Dad. Everywhere they went, they made friends, and really brightened other peoples lives.
It really struck me again last night as I visited my mother that she is such a positive person that it really spreads to those around her. Mom has always been that way. People enjoy being around her. If I go to a local bank or business or anywhere, and someone there knows my Mom, they say: "O, you're Kay's son!" And, then I get treated like I'm from the "royal family" or something. And, that's the way people are wherever I meet them about my Mom or Dad.
It is a good thing to leave a legacy like that behind you in your life. It is a path for your family to walk in. It makes them proud inside, the way I am proud.
It really struck me again last night as I visited my mother that she is such a positive person that it really spreads to those around her. Mom has always been that way. People enjoy being around her. If I go to a local bank or business or anywhere, and someone there knows my Mom, they say: "O, you're Kay's son!" And, then I get treated like I'm from the "royal family" or something. And, that's the way people are wherever I meet them about my Mom or Dad.
It is a good thing to leave a legacy like that behind you in your life. It is a path for your family to walk in. It makes them proud inside, the way I am proud.
Friday, June 11, 2010
Thinking about things on my lunch break at the PDO
I was in General Sessions Court this morning. Ended up a number of cases got reset because one D.A. and one detective were gone and I had two clients who had issues medical/family, but the cases left were pretty difficult ones. The ones I dealt with this morning were a Theft over $1,000 case, a Solicitation of a Minor case, and an Aggravated Burglary case. The cases that we didn't deal with were: two Rape cases, a Theft over $1,000 case, a Criminal Simulation case.
The Solicitation of a Minor case has to do with an internet chat to set up a meeting to have sex with someone who is a minor. The so-called minor was actually a police officer pretending over the internet to be a 16 year old seeking sex.
The cases on Friday dockets that are generally the most difficult are the sex offense charges and the internet sexual offense charges. The internet cases are often that hardest of all to deal with, because most of the defendants have never been in trouble before, and are often looking at very serious prison sentences because of what they viewed over the internet or sometimes what they "said/typed" over the internet.
I had a client go to prison recently to serve a six year sentence because he had downloaded and viewed a bunch of child pornography. He hadn't bought any, he hadn't done anything with any child, he hadn't produced any, but he had looked at it over the internet the same way anyone looks at any picture over the internet.
It is a very serious crime. And, child pornography includes pictures of 16-17 year olds too. If a person is looking at this kind of stuff on the internet often, internet sting operations often pick up on it. The way I understand it is that there are some basic websites/internet distributers that produce this stuff - usually from a location outside the U.S., and there is some type of code that allows internet law enforcement to pick up on when someone is accessing one of these prohibited sites.
If a person is found to have more than a 100 images on their computer (and, they stay even after deletion) of child pornography, that is a class B felony offense under Tennessee state law. If convicted the person serves a minimum of 8 years in prison, with no chance to be released until serving 85% of the sentence. It is a pretty tough thing to talk to a client who had never been in trouble before, and even though they thought what they were doing might be immoral, they just didn't have any idea it was illegal. Not just doing, but viewing is now being punished, and punished harshly in our legal system in a desperate attempt to respond to abuse of the internet.
As legislators pass more and more laws to try to constrain internet child pornography distribution, and dissemination of other sexual materials on the internet, there are some strange results. For example, a 19 year old male engages in consensual sex with someone 3 1/2 years younger than him. This act is not a crime under law (it would have been if the age difference had been more than 4 years). But, even though the act would not be punishable under law even if proven, the fact that this same 19 year old video taped it and put it on the internet or distributed it in any way ends up being a class B felony (8 years at 85% to serve in prison). Of course, the reason for this is that it falls under child pornography restrictions. Still, it is interesting that the act is "legal" while videotaping/disseminating video images is illegal - very illegal.
The part that is really difficult for me in this is that although I do think it is bad to view child pornography, I don't think we ought to put people in prison for viewing perverse things. We ought to put people in prison who do perverse things or force others to. And, there is no clear evidence that people who fantasize about wierd stuff regularly follow through and do it. Certainly, a few do. Law enforcement has the idea that if we prosecute every person who looks at child pornography, then we can be assured that no one who might commit sexual offenses against children will be free. But, as we implement these harsh laws, tapes with children getting abused and raped are being made over in Russia and disseminated over the internet.
I do have to agree that the purchase of child pornography ought to be prohibited by the criminal law. Obviously the production and selling of it ought to be. And, I guess, if you are paying for it, you are financially supporting it. Maybe viewing over the internet could be like that if by giving a website so many hits you enable to them to make money by putting ads on their website. I don't know. But, viewing of child pornography on the internet, if it is to be punished by the criminal law, ought to be punished less harshly than it is. I can't help but thinking that somebody who rapes an adult ought to be punished a lot more harshly than someobody who looks at perverse pictures. Someone who robs someone at gunpoint ought to be punished a lot more harshly than someone who has 100 pictures of child pornography on their computer. But, the law says: 8-12 years for Rape; 8-12 years for 100 plus images of child pornography; 8-12 years for Aggravated Robbery with lesser release percentage; and the law in Tennessee says: 3-6 years for Voluntary Manslaughter with 30% release eligibility and presumed a favorable candidate for parole (that's killing somebody!).
Now, I think pornography is very unhealthy for society. I wish all of it - child and adult - would just disappear. Obviously, the child pornography is an awful crime, because it is exploiting and abusing children and then finding a market in society for those who like to view such a horror show. And, that is what some of the child pornography is. I have to go over the law enforcement unit and view materials/evidence to see that the state has against my client. And, sometimes it is literally feels like watching a cruel beating or killing. It is very, very sad, and very, very disturbing. I put off going over for these discovery conferences as long as I can. But, it is my job to actually look at physical evidence in a case, whether it is a gun or a knife or a picture or a piece of clothing with blood on it. Of all of the stuff I have looked at over the years, there have been some pretty disturbing pictures, such as when a person has been killed. And, these images of children being raped seem like that to me. And, it just goes on and on. When I see these pictures/video of actual rapes of children, I understand the knee-jerk reaction of legislatures: "well, we will punish everyone that even looks at it! That is just sick!" But, viewing is still not doing, no matter how bad it seems. Adult pornography doesn't seem criminal, but seems unhealthy and hurtful for many reasons. But, that is an entirely different discussion. These are just some things I was thinking over after court today. I guess I better go get some lunch.
The Solicitation of a Minor case has to do with an internet chat to set up a meeting to have sex with someone who is a minor. The so-called minor was actually a police officer pretending over the internet to be a 16 year old seeking sex.
The cases on Friday dockets that are generally the most difficult are the sex offense charges and the internet sexual offense charges. The internet cases are often that hardest of all to deal with, because most of the defendants have never been in trouble before, and are often looking at very serious prison sentences because of what they viewed over the internet or sometimes what they "said/typed" over the internet.
I had a client go to prison recently to serve a six year sentence because he had downloaded and viewed a bunch of child pornography. He hadn't bought any, he hadn't done anything with any child, he hadn't produced any, but he had looked at it over the internet the same way anyone looks at any picture over the internet.
It is a very serious crime. And, child pornography includes pictures of 16-17 year olds too. If a person is looking at this kind of stuff on the internet often, internet sting operations often pick up on it. The way I understand it is that there are some basic websites/internet distributers that produce this stuff - usually from a location outside the U.S., and there is some type of code that allows internet law enforcement to pick up on when someone is accessing one of these prohibited sites.
If a person is found to have more than a 100 images on their computer (and, they stay even after deletion) of child pornography, that is a class B felony offense under Tennessee state law. If convicted the person serves a minimum of 8 years in prison, with no chance to be released until serving 85% of the sentence. It is a pretty tough thing to talk to a client who had never been in trouble before, and even though they thought what they were doing might be immoral, they just didn't have any idea it was illegal. Not just doing, but viewing is now being punished, and punished harshly in our legal system in a desperate attempt to respond to abuse of the internet.
As legislators pass more and more laws to try to constrain internet child pornography distribution, and dissemination of other sexual materials on the internet, there are some strange results. For example, a 19 year old male engages in consensual sex with someone 3 1/2 years younger than him. This act is not a crime under law (it would have been if the age difference had been more than 4 years). But, even though the act would not be punishable under law even if proven, the fact that this same 19 year old video taped it and put it on the internet or distributed it in any way ends up being a class B felony (8 years at 85% to serve in prison). Of course, the reason for this is that it falls under child pornography restrictions. Still, it is interesting that the act is "legal" while videotaping/disseminating video images is illegal - very illegal.
The part that is really difficult for me in this is that although I do think it is bad to view child pornography, I don't think we ought to put people in prison for viewing perverse things. We ought to put people in prison who do perverse things or force others to. And, there is no clear evidence that people who fantasize about wierd stuff regularly follow through and do it. Certainly, a few do. Law enforcement has the idea that if we prosecute every person who looks at child pornography, then we can be assured that no one who might commit sexual offenses against children will be free. But, as we implement these harsh laws, tapes with children getting abused and raped are being made over in Russia and disseminated over the internet.
I do have to agree that the purchase of child pornography ought to be prohibited by the criminal law. Obviously the production and selling of it ought to be. And, I guess, if you are paying for it, you are financially supporting it. Maybe viewing over the internet could be like that if by giving a website so many hits you enable to them to make money by putting ads on their website. I don't know. But, viewing of child pornography on the internet, if it is to be punished by the criminal law, ought to be punished less harshly than it is. I can't help but thinking that somebody who rapes an adult ought to be punished a lot more harshly than someobody who looks at perverse pictures. Someone who robs someone at gunpoint ought to be punished a lot more harshly than someone who has 100 pictures of child pornography on their computer. But, the law says: 8-12 years for Rape; 8-12 years for 100 plus images of child pornography; 8-12 years for Aggravated Robbery with lesser release percentage; and the law in Tennessee says: 3-6 years for Voluntary Manslaughter with 30% release eligibility and presumed a favorable candidate for parole (that's killing somebody!).
Now, I think pornography is very unhealthy for society. I wish all of it - child and adult - would just disappear. Obviously, the child pornography is an awful crime, because it is exploiting and abusing children and then finding a market in society for those who like to view such a horror show. And, that is what some of the child pornography is. I have to go over the law enforcement unit and view materials/evidence to see that the state has against my client. And, sometimes it is literally feels like watching a cruel beating or killing. It is very, very sad, and very, very disturbing. I put off going over for these discovery conferences as long as I can. But, it is my job to actually look at physical evidence in a case, whether it is a gun or a knife or a picture or a piece of clothing with blood on it. Of all of the stuff I have looked at over the years, there have been some pretty disturbing pictures, such as when a person has been killed. And, these images of children being raped seem like that to me. And, it just goes on and on. When I see these pictures/video of actual rapes of children, I understand the knee-jerk reaction of legislatures: "well, we will punish everyone that even looks at it! That is just sick!" But, viewing is still not doing, no matter how bad it seems. Adult pornography doesn't seem criminal, but seems unhealthy and hurtful for many reasons. But, that is an entirely different discussion. These are just some things I was thinking over after court today. I guess I better go get some lunch.
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
Nourishment for Living
It seems to me that there are a few basic things that give structure and solidity and energy (nourishment) to an individual human life. The condition of our bodies is certainly one thing that affects the energy we have, the outlook we have in our living. And, our practice of finding or not finding nourishment for the biological and spiritual processes that sustain us certainly affects our bodies and the whole of who we are.
And, finding our way to a pattern of living that nourishes us, body and soul, is surely an important foundation to a meaningful life.
People in our time, like peoples in all times, often struggle to maintain a certain peace of mind and a joy in living. And, then again, many people also don't seem to have to struggle too hard to maintain peace of mind and joy in living. Some seem to struggle as just a part of who they are, as if struggle was just built into their genetic makeup. But, for many, the struggles seem less a part of destiny and more a part of being mixed up about how to find what is needed to sustain a good life.
This Sunday was a particularly good day for me. I really enjoyed worshipping and preaching Sunday morning and being with my church, and I really enjoyed coming back home and working in the yard and being with my family. Everything just seemed to fit on Sunday. And, I realized that when things are going well for me that tends to lead to good basic habits and when I have a pattern of good, basic habits, things tend to go well for me. And, I am talking about real basic things: an appropriate amount of food, exercise and sleep. Intake, exertion, rest.
There is no separation between "mind" and "body." We are a unity of biological and spiritual/mental processes. Our thoughts and feelings arise from chemical processes in the body; chemical processes in the body are set in motion and affected by our thoughts and feelings. Our feelings can come from thoughts or from chemical processes in the body or maybe, it is more accurate to say that they come from both at the same time.
And, nothing seems to reset and renew the biological and spiritual processes at work in us so well as a reasonable amount of food, exercise and sleep. But, just as I have found that good habits like this lead to good thoughts, so also good thoughts lead to healthy ways of living. And, good thoughts are often born through spiritual practices like prayer and meditation and worship. But, it doesn't seem to me that finding what we need biologically and spiritually involves two separate processes or approaches in life. No, finding nourishment for human living involves one simple orientation of the body, mind and spirit, and that is the orientation of the creature open and thankful to the Creator in receiving the natural resources that nourish us individually and communally along the way in life. And, there is meaning in seeking out nourishment, finding it, and sharing it as a foundation for a joyful life in this world. For some the struggle is very hard due to difficult social, economic, physical or mental burdens.
If we really do think that human life is worth nurturing, it will lead us to desire nourishment for ourselves and others. And, when we really desire something in our hearts, we usually do something about it.
And, finding our way to a pattern of living that nourishes us, body and soul, is surely an important foundation to a meaningful life.
People in our time, like peoples in all times, often struggle to maintain a certain peace of mind and a joy in living. And, then again, many people also don't seem to have to struggle too hard to maintain peace of mind and joy in living. Some seem to struggle as just a part of who they are, as if struggle was just built into their genetic makeup. But, for many, the struggles seem less a part of destiny and more a part of being mixed up about how to find what is needed to sustain a good life.
This Sunday was a particularly good day for me. I really enjoyed worshipping and preaching Sunday morning and being with my church, and I really enjoyed coming back home and working in the yard and being with my family. Everything just seemed to fit on Sunday. And, I realized that when things are going well for me that tends to lead to good basic habits and when I have a pattern of good, basic habits, things tend to go well for me. And, I am talking about real basic things: an appropriate amount of food, exercise and sleep. Intake, exertion, rest.
There is no separation between "mind" and "body." We are a unity of biological and spiritual/mental processes. Our thoughts and feelings arise from chemical processes in the body; chemical processes in the body are set in motion and affected by our thoughts and feelings. Our feelings can come from thoughts or from chemical processes in the body or maybe, it is more accurate to say that they come from both at the same time.
And, nothing seems to reset and renew the biological and spiritual processes at work in us so well as a reasonable amount of food, exercise and sleep. But, just as I have found that good habits like this lead to good thoughts, so also good thoughts lead to healthy ways of living. And, good thoughts are often born through spiritual practices like prayer and meditation and worship. But, it doesn't seem to me that finding what we need biologically and spiritually involves two separate processes or approaches in life. No, finding nourishment for human living involves one simple orientation of the body, mind and spirit, and that is the orientation of the creature open and thankful to the Creator in receiving the natural resources that nourish us individually and communally along the way in life. And, there is meaning in seeking out nourishment, finding it, and sharing it as a foundation for a joyful life in this world. For some the struggle is very hard due to difficult social, economic, physical or mental burdens.
If we really do think that human life is worth nurturing, it will lead us to desire nourishment for ourselves and others. And, when we really desire something in our hearts, we usually do something about it.
Monday, May 31, 2010
Almost hit a groundhog; almost caused a wreck
Sue and I were driving around Knoxville on Saturday, and on a pretty busy road, a car had slowed down almost to a stop in the right lane. I slowed down a little and all the sudden there was a little groundhog (a youth) right in front of my car. I stopped all the way, and the car behind me got pretty close to hitting me. And, both drivers that were stopped kept looking to see if the little groundhog had made it across the road. I looked back as we drove away and apparently he made it safe and sound.
I really hate hitting animals when I am driving. I have hit a squirrel or two and a possum once. I have had a lot of close calls on everything from deer to foxes to dogs to cats to cows to ginnies to turkeys, etc. But, I realized the last time I almost hit a dog that if I would just slow down a good bit, I would hardly ever hit any wildlife. I have done that - started driving a pretty slow pace on backroads about all the time. I enjoy it more, and I don't ruin the only chance at life that some little or big creature has. And, also if I slow down a little, then if I need to stop, I don't cause a wreck with a fellow human creature.
I really hate hitting animals when I am driving. I have hit a squirrel or two and a possum once. I have had a lot of close calls on everything from deer to foxes to dogs to cats to cows to ginnies to turkeys, etc. But, I realized the last time I almost hit a dog that if I would just slow down a good bit, I would hardly ever hit any wildlife. I have done that - started driving a pretty slow pace on backroads about all the time. I enjoy it more, and I don't ruin the only chance at life that some little or big creature has. And, also if I slow down a little, then if I need to stop, I don't cause a wreck with a fellow human creature.
Saturday, May 22, 2010
Getting Frustrated, Gaining Some Perspective, and Starting Over in Life
Since I work in the Public Defender’s Office and in a church, I am regularly involved with people who are looking for help in the midst of their troubles in life. Whether the person is “in trouble” with the law or having trouble with finances, alcohol or their family, there is a certain amount of frustration or even despair that clouds their efforts to live freely and joyfully.
A person begins to feel like they don’t have any leverage over against the pressures that keep him or her down. Even though it is that person’s own decisions that keep stoking the fires of destruction, there is an experience of helplessless that becomes part of life. How does this happen?
On one hand, if you isolate any particular issue with which a person struggles, there doesn’t seem much reason for that person to continue their negative pattern of behavior or relationships. For example, a criminal defendant returns to court to show whether he has gotten into an outpatient treatment program and whether they have made any payments on court costs and fines owed in the case. And, though the judge has allowed them 10 weeks to get something done on these two issues, my client has nothing to show: not a cent paid, and no proof that he has gotten into a program or even tried to. Now, as my client tries to explain why he has done nothing, his excuses don’t seem too good. But, if there was time enough to really review what is going on in his life, and what his pattern of living really is, we might begin to understand that he has lost control of his life.
What I mean is that it may be a struggle for this person to even get up and out of the apartment (if he even has one to live in). It may be that this man is living with friends or family or in a motel or all of the above. It may be that he is using drugs on occasion, getting drunk when he gets the chance. He may also have an untreated sickness. He may not be able to find a job (may not even know how to look for one at this point), and he may not be able to pay the child support he owes. And, he may know that it is only a matter of time until they serve a warrant on him for unpaid costs and fines in Knox County or for being behind on child support. He may also have not had a driver’s license for two or three years because of unpaid tickets. What has happened is that one mistake leads to another, until a pattern of neglect has formed a virtual prison around this man’s life. Frustration becomes the continual experience, and the only joy in life is to find some escape from the realities of life. Not being able to afford a real vacation, this man takes regular ‘chemical vacations’ that leave him progressively worse off as his physical and mental health suffer from alcohol and drug abuse.
As I see people caught in this web of their lives, I recognize in myself a similar pattern of avoidance and neglect and desire for joy in life. Now, with me, I have learned ways to cope with frustration and ways to seek understanding over against my frustration; and, because I have had good people in my life to remind me what life is all about and to remind me of God’s grace, I tend to move from frustration to a point where I gain some perspective on my struggle in life, and then experience the gracious feeling that I really can “start over” each day before I allow things to fall apart (allowing mistakes to cumulate). Sometimes we can take our lives too seriously. Sometimes we can consider our lives as if they are too determined.
In many ways we would do well to see and accept the impermancy of our lives. Our lives are like sand castles we build on the beach. We have to learn to enjoy building these sand castles, even though the waves will come and wash them away. We have to learn the joy of building, even as we know the waves will come and wash what we have done away. But, why keep working at things if they aren’t permanent? Why work so hard to build up what cannot last? I can only answer that our lives are not the sand castles, but are found in the work of building, in the joy we have together in that work, and in the determination we have to get up the next day and continue the work for nothing more than the satisfaction we get in working and working together. And, there is one other thing. There is something very wonderful about the washing away of our efforts: not only do our achievements not last; our failures don’t either. That’s why as I wake up tomorrow morning, I will feel a movement in my heart “this is the day that the Lord has made . . . let us be glad and rejoice in it.” In the end, my life is not in my achievements or in my failures, but in the receiving of new life from the hand of the living God. Learning to receive life from the Creator is the source of all joy and happiness and renewal and understanding. We spend so much of our lives looking for life, love, meaning, renewal in all the wrong places. Like the country song goes: “I was looking for love in all the wrong places,” so our lives go as we fill ourselves with things that not only don’t satisfy the longing of our hearts but actually deaden our hearts.
It may be “more blessed to give than to receive,” but it is more important to learn to receive the gift of life from the Creator. Because until we learn how to open ourselves to this source of life and renewal and hope, we really have nothing to give. At the basic core of our lives, we are just like the plants in my garden outside who are nourished by the soil of the earth, who are awakened by the rising of the sun and who are refreshed and given new vitality by the rains from above. Problem is: somehow we humans have found ways to cut ourselves off from the Creator’s gifts; we have found ways to become “unnatural,” to withdraw from the natural relationship of creature to Creator. That natural relationship is one of receiving life from the Creator’s hand, receiving the nourishment of life from the Creator’s hand, and sharing and celebrating that life with each other.
The words of Psalm 100 are striking: “It is God that made us and not we ourselves.” Why would the ancient Israelites have felt the need to remind themselves of that? Wasn’t that obvious: that they had not created themselves ? Apparently not then; and apparently not now. I will close with this Psalm and one other and few comments about these holy words.
“Make a joyful noise to the Lord, all the lands. Serve the Lord with gladness. Come into his presence with singing. Know that the Lord is God. It is he that made us and not we ourselves. We are his people and the sheep of his pasture. Enter his gates with thanksgiving and his courts with praise. Give thanks to him; O, bless his name! For the Lord is good. His steadfast love endures forever, and his faithfulness to all generations.”
And, then the 23rd Psalm expresses the basic experience of receiving life from the Creator’s hand, receiving life from the Creator’s heart.
“The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. He makes me to lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside the quiet waters. He stills my soul. He makes me to walk in paths of righteousness for his name’s sake. And, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will not fear, for you are with me. Your rod and your staff they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the midst of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Surely goodness and mercy will follow me all the days of my life, and I shall dwell in the house of the Lord forever.”
I notice that this Psalm begins in the third person: “He makes me to lie down,” but then slips into the more intimate second person: “you are with me . . . you prepare a table before me.” It starts out talking about God, and slips into talking with God. That’s how real prayer is; that’s how real preaching is; that might even be how real conversation is. This Psalm starts out talking about “the source of life,” and ends up being nourished by that source. From frustration, to getting some perspective by talking about God, to receiving new life by experiencing the presence of God. This is the movement of life in this world. It is the natural movement of life for human beings. It is a shame that we have cut ourselves off from this natural movement. It is wonderful, though, that God continues to give, continues to draw us back into the flow of life from him. “This is the day that the Lord has made. Let us be glad and rejoice in it.”
A person begins to feel like they don’t have any leverage over against the pressures that keep him or her down. Even though it is that person’s own decisions that keep stoking the fires of destruction, there is an experience of helplessless that becomes part of life. How does this happen?
On one hand, if you isolate any particular issue with which a person struggles, there doesn’t seem much reason for that person to continue their negative pattern of behavior or relationships. For example, a criminal defendant returns to court to show whether he has gotten into an outpatient treatment program and whether they have made any payments on court costs and fines owed in the case. And, though the judge has allowed them 10 weeks to get something done on these two issues, my client has nothing to show: not a cent paid, and no proof that he has gotten into a program or even tried to. Now, as my client tries to explain why he has done nothing, his excuses don’t seem too good. But, if there was time enough to really review what is going on in his life, and what his pattern of living really is, we might begin to understand that he has lost control of his life.
What I mean is that it may be a struggle for this person to even get up and out of the apartment (if he even has one to live in). It may be that this man is living with friends or family or in a motel or all of the above. It may be that he is using drugs on occasion, getting drunk when he gets the chance. He may also have an untreated sickness. He may not be able to find a job (may not even know how to look for one at this point), and he may not be able to pay the child support he owes. And, he may know that it is only a matter of time until they serve a warrant on him for unpaid costs and fines in Knox County or for being behind on child support. He may also have not had a driver’s license for two or three years because of unpaid tickets. What has happened is that one mistake leads to another, until a pattern of neglect has formed a virtual prison around this man’s life. Frustration becomes the continual experience, and the only joy in life is to find some escape from the realities of life. Not being able to afford a real vacation, this man takes regular ‘chemical vacations’ that leave him progressively worse off as his physical and mental health suffer from alcohol and drug abuse.
As I see people caught in this web of their lives, I recognize in myself a similar pattern of avoidance and neglect and desire for joy in life. Now, with me, I have learned ways to cope with frustration and ways to seek understanding over against my frustration; and, because I have had good people in my life to remind me what life is all about and to remind me of God’s grace, I tend to move from frustration to a point where I gain some perspective on my struggle in life, and then experience the gracious feeling that I really can “start over” each day before I allow things to fall apart (allowing mistakes to cumulate). Sometimes we can take our lives too seriously. Sometimes we can consider our lives as if they are too determined.
In many ways we would do well to see and accept the impermancy of our lives. Our lives are like sand castles we build on the beach. We have to learn to enjoy building these sand castles, even though the waves will come and wash them away. We have to learn the joy of building, even as we know the waves will come and wash what we have done away. But, why keep working at things if they aren’t permanent? Why work so hard to build up what cannot last? I can only answer that our lives are not the sand castles, but are found in the work of building, in the joy we have together in that work, and in the determination we have to get up the next day and continue the work for nothing more than the satisfaction we get in working and working together. And, there is one other thing. There is something very wonderful about the washing away of our efforts: not only do our achievements not last; our failures don’t either. That’s why as I wake up tomorrow morning, I will feel a movement in my heart “this is the day that the Lord has made . . . let us be glad and rejoice in it.” In the end, my life is not in my achievements or in my failures, but in the receiving of new life from the hand of the living God. Learning to receive life from the Creator is the source of all joy and happiness and renewal and understanding. We spend so much of our lives looking for life, love, meaning, renewal in all the wrong places. Like the country song goes: “I was looking for love in all the wrong places,” so our lives go as we fill ourselves with things that not only don’t satisfy the longing of our hearts but actually deaden our hearts.
It may be “more blessed to give than to receive,” but it is more important to learn to receive the gift of life from the Creator. Because until we learn how to open ourselves to this source of life and renewal and hope, we really have nothing to give. At the basic core of our lives, we are just like the plants in my garden outside who are nourished by the soil of the earth, who are awakened by the rising of the sun and who are refreshed and given new vitality by the rains from above. Problem is: somehow we humans have found ways to cut ourselves off from the Creator’s gifts; we have found ways to become “unnatural,” to withdraw from the natural relationship of creature to Creator. That natural relationship is one of receiving life from the Creator’s hand, receiving the nourishment of life from the Creator’s hand, and sharing and celebrating that life with each other.
The words of Psalm 100 are striking: “It is God that made us and not we ourselves.” Why would the ancient Israelites have felt the need to remind themselves of that? Wasn’t that obvious: that they had not created themselves ? Apparently not then; and apparently not now. I will close with this Psalm and one other and few comments about these holy words.
“Make a joyful noise to the Lord, all the lands. Serve the Lord with gladness. Come into his presence with singing. Know that the Lord is God. It is he that made us and not we ourselves. We are his people and the sheep of his pasture. Enter his gates with thanksgiving and his courts with praise. Give thanks to him; O, bless his name! For the Lord is good. His steadfast love endures forever, and his faithfulness to all generations.”
And, then the 23rd Psalm expresses the basic experience of receiving life from the Creator’s hand, receiving life from the Creator’s heart.
“The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. He makes me to lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside the quiet waters. He stills my soul. He makes me to walk in paths of righteousness for his name’s sake. And, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will not fear, for you are with me. Your rod and your staff they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the midst of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Surely goodness and mercy will follow me all the days of my life, and I shall dwell in the house of the Lord forever.”
I notice that this Psalm begins in the third person: “He makes me to lie down,” but then slips into the more intimate second person: “you are with me . . . you prepare a table before me.” It starts out talking about God, and slips into talking with God. That’s how real prayer is; that’s how real preaching is; that might even be how real conversation is. This Psalm starts out talking about “the source of life,” and ends up being nourished by that source. From frustration, to getting some perspective by talking about God, to receiving new life by experiencing the presence of God. This is the movement of life in this world. It is the natural movement of life for human beings. It is a shame that we have cut ourselves off from this natural movement. It is wonderful, though, that God continues to give, continues to draw us back into the flow of life from him. “This is the day that the Lord has made. Let us be glad and rejoice in it.”
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
Arizona Bill, Immigration, the Bible . . . and the Statue of Liberty
Exodus 22:21, "You shall not wrong or oppress a resident alien, for you were aliens in the land of Egypt."
Leviticus 19:34, "The alien who resides among you shall be to you as the citizen among you; you shall love the alien as yourself, for you were aliens in the land of Egypt; I am the Lord your God."
In Hebrews it says, "Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers, for by doing so some have entertained angels unawares."
On a tablet inside the pedestal of the Statue of Liberty is engraved the following sonnet, written by Emma Lazarus (1849-1887):
The New Colossus
"Not like the brazen giant of Greek fame. With conquering limbs astride from land to land; Here at our sea-washed, sunset gates shall stand A mighty woman with a torch, whose flame Is the imprisoned lightning, and her name Mother of Exiles. From her beacon-hand Glows world-wide welcome; her mild eyes command The air-bridged harbor that twin cities frame.
"Keep, ancient lands, your storied pomp!" cries she With silent lips.
"Give me your tired, your poor, Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free, The wretched refuse of your teeming shore. Send these, the homeless, tempest-tost to me, I lift my lamp beside the golden door!"
I think that those Bible passages and the words on this important memory of the hope of the United States are enough to say about Senate Bill 1070 in Arizona. I'll leave it at that.
Leviticus 19:34, "The alien who resides among you shall be to you as the citizen among you; you shall love the alien as yourself, for you were aliens in the land of Egypt; I am the Lord your God."
In Hebrews it says, "Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers, for by doing so some have entertained angels unawares."
On a tablet inside the pedestal of the Statue of Liberty is engraved the following sonnet, written by Emma Lazarus (1849-1887):
The New Colossus
"Not like the brazen giant of Greek fame. With conquering limbs astride from land to land; Here at our sea-washed, sunset gates shall stand A mighty woman with a torch, whose flame Is the imprisoned lightning, and her name Mother of Exiles. From her beacon-hand Glows world-wide welcome; her mild eyes command The air-bridged harbor that twin cities frame.
"Keep, ancient lands, your storied pomp!" cries she With silent lips.
"Give me your tired, your poor, Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free, The wretched refuse of your teeming shore. Send these, the homeless, tempest-tost to me, I lift my lamp beside the golden door!"
I think that those Bible passages and the words on this important memory of the hope of the United States are enough to say about Senate Bill 1070 in Arizona. I'll leave it at that.
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