Talking Out Loud to My Self

There are three things I would like to be rid of: A spirit of criticism, a spirit of self-importance, and a spirit of anxiety.

By a spirit of criticism, I mean the thoughts that rise up within me that are in the first instance critical of another, before I really assess the situation and what is going on. Besides, why does it matter whether I approve or disapprove of another?

By a spirit of self-importance, I really mean a way of looking at life that always considers at the center how something reflects on me, makes me look, affects me, and that assumes I have more control over a situation than I do.

By a spirit of anxiety, I mean that unnerving feeling and set of thoughts that keep me from being at peace inside. I guess it's really this spirit of anxiety that gives rise to the spirit of criticism and self-importance. And, it seems like some freedom from that spirit of criticism and self-focus could really lead to some freedom from anxiety.

Along these lines, I was wondering today about the fact that I always feel a certain pressure in about every situation to make sure everyone gets along with everybody else. Who put me in charge of that? That seems to arise out of a spirit of anxiety, a spirit of criticism and a spirit of self-importance. Of course, it is good to hope for peace among people, but can you really achieve it if you are always anxious about it? Can you really enable it if you don't trust it depends on something greater than you?

I've lived for more than 48 years, and this is the first time I have ever asked: "who put me in charge of that?" Now, it may take me the rest of my life to answer that question or I may have just answered it by asking it!